Behold: Cosmo's 65 Best Sex Tips Ever
Cultura RM Exclusive/Philipp Nemenz
For something that’s been around forever,
there seems to be a never-ending curiosity gap about sex. Are we all
doing it? And if so, how often? And are we doing it correctly? Are what
else is there to try? Of course, as long as it’s consensual, safe, and
healthy, there’s not many right or wrongs when it comes to having sex.
And what one person likes, another might hate. But there are some
specific ways to ensure that your bedroom action will be as pleasurable
as possible for you and your partner. In fact, these are the 50 best sex
tips to ever come out of Cosmo. They have withstood the test of time
because they work.
1. Have your partner try the Kivin method.
This oral sex technique for those pleasuring a woman has the giver
approach you from the side, rather than face-on. Annabelle Knight, sex
expert at Lovehoney, explains that instead of licking up and down your
vulva, your partner should lick side to side and straight across the
clitoral hood for an orgasmic feeling.
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2. Get on top. Woman on top provides easier access to your vulva and clitoris than in other positions. Add a vibrator into the mix for even more pleasure.
5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Getting on Top
3. Make a masturbation playlist.
Taking time to focus on your own pleasure and indulging in your ~me
time~ is not only fun, it can make sex with a partner better too because
you’re learning more about your own body. There’s really no easier way
to figure out what you like in bed than by trying it yourself.
A Masturbation Playlist to Help You O
4. Use lube. Seriously, enough with the stigma that lube is for dried-up older women. You’re not winning extra points by not using
it and having sex that could be so much more glidey and enjoyable for
both partners. Start with a dime-sized amount, put it on you and your
partner’s genitals, and reapply as needed.
10 Ways to Use Lube During Sex
5. Ramp up your desire all day by engaging in some light sexting at work. Foreplay doesn’t just have to be in person. If you’ve got a date later that night, try sending a few flirty or suggestive texts your partner’s way to ensure they’re thinking about you all day.
Women Reveal Their Hottest Sexts [NSFW]
6. Try the Amazon sex position.
Or any wild sex position. Sex is just as mental as it is physical, and
trying out adventurous and empowering novelty positions can do way more
for you than you’d think.
How to Master the Amazon Sex Position
7. Don’t be afraid to spread your labia. Ensure that your partner has easy access to your clitoris by really getting in there and setting up the scene for them. Sure, light vulva licking is great, but why waste time and risk your partner getting lost down there?
27 Oral Sex Tips You’ll Both Lose Your Mind Over
8. Try a vibrator with sonic waves.
Your clitoris is like an iceberg. The part that you can see is only a
small portion of it. There are nerve endings underneath the visible part
that you can’t see or touch. Using a vibrator with sonic pulses
(like a loud, booming speaker that shakes your whole body at a club)
can help target these nerves and put you in ~touch~ with the otherwise
unexplored parts of your clit.
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9. Ditch the eye contact in reverse cowgirl. While
sex face-to-face certainly has its moments, change it up by getting on
top and facing away from your partner. From here, you have total freedom
to make whatever O-face you want, and you can put on a show for them at
the same time with your bouncing butt. You contain multitudes.
How To Master Reverse Cowgirl
10. Work on your non-sexual touch. While this tip is more about putting in work while you’re not having sex, it can totally lead to an overall better sex life. Don’t reserve touching for only when you’re naked.
Find a way to work in hair stroking, back rubs, hand holding, anything
PG that encourages you and your partner to show physical affection for
one another. You’ll learn about each others’ bodies in a way that’s so
much deeper than just sex.
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11. Zone in on the upper left-hand quadrant of your clitoris. Megan Andelloux, executive director at the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, says many women find this is the most receptive part of their clit.
Here’s How to Have a Vaginal Orgasm
12. Try a sex game where you trade off. Rachel Wright,
a licensed psychotherapist, sex therapist, and sex educator, suggests
“stop and start.” You set a timer on your phone for four minutes, where
you have that amount of time to do anything to your partner (ranging
from kissing to intercourse). Once the time’s up, you switch places and
the giver becomes the receiver, and vice versa. This is great for
putting an emphasis on foreplay.
30 Totally Hot Sex Games You Need to Try
13. Do it in front of a mirror. Doggie style intercourse
in front of a full-length mirror allows you one of the best seats in
the house. You can lock eyes tenderly in the mirror or go at it with
carnal thrusting, all while checking each other out at the same time.
Nice.
5 Favorite Positions from Female Sex Educators
14. Get a pair of nipple clamps. Nipple clamps
are great because they can provide hands-free stimulation during sex.
Slap a pair on and your hands are free to still touch yourself during
foreplay or sex. You can adjust the intensity throughout too, getting
tighter or looser as you approach climax.
A Beginner's Guide to Nipple Clamps
15. Prioritize oral sex. Have a few nights where the main focus isn’t penetrative sex, but just you receiving oral sex.
Communicate with your partner so you can both discover what works best
for you in terms of giving and receiving. And when we say a few nights,
we mean a few nights. Expecting to cram life-changing oral into your
lives via one night puts way too much pressure on both of you.
18 Ways to Have an Orgasm
16. Real talk:
Roughly 70 percent of women need more clitoral stimulation to O during
sex — so reach down and touch yourself during the deed! You feel in
control of your O, and he's super turned on. Win-win.
Does Clitoris Size Matter?
17. For a twist on missionary,
lie on your back, and lift your legs up and over to one side as he
enters you. Raising your legs makes you supertight, and the angle of
your hips means he'll hit spots that rarely get TLC.
18. Get him to skip the in-and-out thrusts and, uh, stir with his penis instead. He'll stimulate every inch of you (motion of the ocean and all that…).
19. Sit on the edge of
the washing machine, and wrap your legs around his waist as he enters
you. Helpful hint: The cotton cycle provides the strongest vibrations.
20. In reverse-cowgirl, lean back (instead of forward toward his feet). It's a primo G-spot angle for you and the illusion of a Kardashi-ass for him.
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21. The no. 1 rule for a great blow job: Use your mouth (obvs!) and
your hands. Take the head in your mouth, and lick and swirl like you
would a soft-serve cone. Mean while, use your hands to grip, squeeze,
and stroke the length of his penis. Don't keep up the same motion —
variety of sensation is key!
22. Instead of pleasing
each other simultaneously during 69 (so hard to focus!), take turns.
One person goes to town, while the other groans and moans about how good
it feels.
23. While he's giving you oral,
have him insert a finger or two and stroke your G-spot with a
come-hither motion. Internal and external stimulation boosts your orgasm
chances.
24. Lube up!
(Both you and your partner, before and/or during The Naughty.) Almost
50 percent of women say lube makes it easier to orgasm. And forget the
myth that it's only for older women — all the cool kids are doing it!
25. If you have no clue
whether your partner's dirty-talk meter is set to "a little naughty" or
"downright filthy," do a sneaky little test. Ask, "What would you like
me to do to you? Details, please." And see what words he uses and how
risqué he's willing to get. Then follow his lead.
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26. Usually get oral with your legs spread? Intensify
your O by stretching your legs straight out, stimulating the pelvic
muscles you use to climax. It's a crazy-good new sensation.
27. Gently hold his face still,
tell him to stop moving, and let him simply receive your kisses for a
minute. That way, whether you like it slow or hot and heavy, he'll know
how to kiss you back.
28. Vintage Cosmo Tip, June 1972: "All
women should try for a little more variety … a little more shock value.
put on a wig. or greet your man at the door with a martini in your hand
and nothing on but high heels."
Our 2015 road test: Naked except for black Manolos and a long blonde wig very unlike my curly brown hair, I was already three "test" martinis deep when I wobbled to the door and greeted R.M.P. (Reluctant Male Participant, aka my boyfriend of almost two years). First, he seemed surprised, then slightly scared. But with some R-rated coaxing, I could tell he was getting into it. After we had sex, he gave me puppy-dog eyes. "Can you take that wig off now?" "Nooo, this girl is fun, I like this girl!" I replied. Did I mention I'd had three martinis? "Wasn't it hot cheating on your girlfriend with a blonde?" I asked. He shrugged and shook his head: "I missed my girlfriend." Then we ordered burgers, and I kept my wig on while I ate mine.
29. Just started dating? Set the precedent and make sure you come first.
Women often focus on their guy's orgasm and treat themselves as an
afterthought. Since we're all creatures of habit, doing the reverse pays
off in the long run.
30. Ask him to trace his tongue over your thin-skinned spots: wrists, inner knees, behind your ears. It'll make you shiver.
This Vibrator Feels Like Someone Going Down On You
31. While standing with your back against his chest, have him reach around and touch you so all you can see are his hands all over you — totally sexy.
32. Wrap your fingers in an "O" shape around
the base of his shaft, and move them in tandem with your mouth. Use
lots of saliva to ease the movement, and he won't be able to tell where
your mouth ends and your hand begins. Gently cup his balls with your
other hand and you're golden.
33. Try the "commercial sex" game.
Start getting it on during the commercials of your favorite show, then
untangle as soon as the show comes back. Sexy show? Copy their moves. As
you graduate from makeouts to oral to intercourse (and back?), the
teasing will be out of control.
34. Keep your dress on or just push your underwear aside to have sex. The immediacy of keeping clothes on is hot — like you can't wait to have each other.
35. The hole at the tip of his penis
is called the meatus, which is the worst name given to anything, ever.
(Meatus!) But it's sensitive during arousal. With your tongue, apply
medium pressure on and off. He'll be shocked it feels so good!
22 Places to Touch a Man
36. When you're close to climaxing, tighten and relax like you're Kegeling. This alone can sometimes trigger an O (and it feels amazing for a guy too).
37. The shower is made for the quickie. The
ideal position for you is bent over, aiming the showerhead at your hot
spot while he's doing his thing from behind. No removable showerhead?
Slick his fingers with shower gel, and have him reach around and give
you some digital pleasure.
38. Create a secret code that translates to sexytimes. Maybe "get me a dirty martini" means "let's blow this joint … and then each other."
39. Remind yourself how much you turn him on. Seeing
his face as he's lost in ecstasy — and realizing you're making it
happen — can be the push you need to cross the finish line.
40. Touch yourself — beneath your bath jets, while watching Scandal,
whatever works for you — to get to know what sensations do it for you.
Are you into counterclockwise clitoral strokes? Nipple stimulation? Find
out—then bring your favorite moves to your next sex session.
Why You Should Masturbate Regularly
41. Advanced blow-job move: Twist
your hand as you move your mouth up and down his shaft like you're
tracing the grooves of a corkscrew, and slide it over his tip each time
you get to it. He'll worship you.
42. Want more oral and less jackhammer but can't seem to say so?
Start out with a sext. Type "I can't stop thinking about your mouth on
me tonight," throw in a kiss emoji, and hit Send. The message will be
received.
43. Bring a bullet vibrator to bed. The Rabbit gets all the glory, but using a bullet vibe on your clit during doggy is a total game changer.
44. While pleasuring him with your mouth,
bring his hand down to touch you. Cover his fingers with yours so you
can make sure his touches are exactly what you need to climax. It'll
arouse him even more to see you taking control of his movements.
45. Lead with a compliment ("I love the way you…") before suggesting a new move ("it would turn me on so much if you used your fingers like this…").
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46. Turn up the tease factor by letting him enter you for a hot second,
then going straight back into your foreplay of choice. Think of it as
giving him a taste of the main course during cocktail hour. It'll leave
him hungry — no, salivating — for more.
47. Get sex on the brain by
reading a steamy book before a date. You'll feel more sensual during
the deed as you visualize a hot story line. And he never has to know!
48. Have your guy scribble down a "menu" of
the top three moves that drive him crazy, and you do the same. Then
swap lists, and take turns serving up the goods à la carte!
49. Perfect your striptease. Stage
an entrance from another room, take a sensual walk around him, and
slowly shed a slip to reveal a corset. (Or a thong and nipple tassels!
Whatever's your jam.) By the time you finally straddle him, you'll both
be raring to go. P.S. Leave on your heels for extra sass.
50. Switching hot and cold sensations feels amazing for him during oral.
If you're not into the ol' ice-cube-in-the-cheek trick, try alternating
oral with drinking something cold or warm. Even easier: Lightly blow
air over him after having had him in your mouth.
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51. Vintage Cosmo Tip, March 1989: "Unleash
your imagination: you might drive down to the local lovers' lane like
teenagers or swap houses with a friend and make love in her bedroom."
Our 2015 road test: We didn't go to lovers' lane because where even is that, but non-bedroom sex is one of those things I always mean to do but never get around to. I finally got around to it — although we kept it low-key and only ventured as far as the desk. Funny thing about adulthood: Spontaneous desk sex is hot, but clearing the desk beforehand in order to avoid any postcoital broken tchotchkes or destroyed tea rose arrangements is not. Ditto when R.M.P. paused the action to put a pillow under my back. Ultimately, the desk lends itself best to doggy-style — but R.M.P. and I did thoroughly enjoy giving the bed a break.
52. A great gizmo for scoring some dual pleasure? A
vibrating penis ring. Your guy will enjoy a soft vibration on his shaft
while you get bonus targeted clitoral stimulation with each of his
thrusts. It also helps guys achieve fuller, harder erections.
53. Long-distance? Send
him a care package for his … package. Fill a box with some sexy new
lingerie, lube, and maybe a sex toy, and send it to his front door with
this note: "We'll need this on my next visit."
54. Not being "allowed" to make any noise during sex can be a huge turn-on,
especially when something feels so good, you just want to express it!
Try this for a spin: Stuff your thong or his tie into his mouth, then do
dirty, dirty things to him until he's digging his nails into his palms
to keep from ripping that gag out.
55. A great couple habit to get into is to kiss every day —
for more than just a couple of seconds. It wards off the perilous
roommate effect, especially if you live together and lately have been
spending more time doing chores together than checking each other out.
How to Passionately Kiss
56. Getting busy in a public place is a huge risk, thereby doubling the wattage of your hot rendezvous.
Your best bet to pulling it off is to keep your clothes on (wear a
skirt and no undies for easier access) and do it in a place where you'll
hear someone coming, like in the middle of a stairwell — the footsteps
on the stairs will tip you off that it's time to get moving before you
get caught.
57. The cherry on top when it comes to an amazing BJ? Eye contact. Give a wink or some smize action, and he'll be putty in your … mouth.
58. Put a pillow or two under your butt to elevate your hips during missionary sex — and up the odds of his hitting your G-spot. This will change your life, we swear.
59. For ladies only: Have
your partner lie on her side, propping herself up on her elbow, and
straddle one of her legs so your clits rub together, all the while
making eye contact. Grind on. Scissoring's a classic for a reason.
31 Mind-Blowing Lesbian Sex Positions
60. Vintage Cosmo Tip, October 2002: "Check your inhibitions at the door, and watch each other while touching yourselves."
Our 2015 road test: Now that R.M.P. and I have been banging on the regs for a while, like many long-term couples, our orgasms are pretty wham-bam-let's-watch-Netflix. We rarely take the time to stop and smell the sex roses, and thanks to the logistics of our favorite respective positions, we rarely see each other's O faces. Sitting on opposite edges of the bed, me with my fave bullet vibe, him with just his hand, felt pretty voyeuristic — in a hot way — and I definitely felt closer to him afterward.
61. Lest we (and he) forget,
the clitoris extends down our labia in the shape of a wishbone. So he
should lick or stroke the labia — not just the clit — while he's down
there. Hell-O!
62. After a shower, get him to take you from behind
while you're leaning over the bathroom sink and looking at your hot,
wet self in the fogged-up mirror. You'll get a front-row view to all the
seriously hot action and none of the stress of filming it. Nice!
63. Ask him first, but if he gives you the green light, hold a small vibrator against
the underside of his shaft or on his perineum — that's the super
nerve-packed area that lies between his balls and his butt — while
you're going down on him. Start the action off with your vibe's lowest
setting and then slowly increase the intensity as his arousal grows.
12 Sex Toys for the Guy in Your Life to Try
64. Rotate from girl-on-top position into reverse-cowgirl (take
your time — you'll avoid any crazy mishaps, plus a slo-mo approach just
looks that much sexier). Not only are you hitting a series of new hot
spots for both of you with each different angle, but he'll dig the
360-degree view of your gorgeous bod.
65. Bored of the same old sexts? Been there. Try keeping it simple. The hottest possible text you can send: "I need you now."
A version of this story was published as "Cosmo's 50 Best Sex Tips Ever" in the November issue of Cosmopolitan. Pick up the November 2015 issue on newsstands or click here to subscribe to the digital edition!
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